I've been watching cheesy success-story movies and a lot of videos of really talented people on youtube lately, and they have done nothing for me except leave me semi-depressed. I love watching people who are really good at what they do, but I started to wish that I was that good at something, or that I was passionate enough about something to become that talented. And then my Mom pointed out what I was too movie-blinded to recognize; My something is Jesus.
The one thing in my life that I am willing to sacrifice everything for is Jesus. The one thing that affects every choice I make is Jesus. Just like the people in the movies who want to be dancers and singers and ice skaters, I want to be like Jesus with the very core of my being. And if I really am like the movie characters, I won't stop and I won't give up.
I think Paul said it best:
"I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you." Phillipians 3:12-15
But how often as Christians do we give up? How often do you, like me, forget your passion because it isn't as visible as an athlete's or an artist's? I constantly have to be reminded of what I am working towards. Yet if we only open our eyes, the evidence of Christ and his calling on our lives is all around us. And like every athlete has a good coach, we have other believers to commend and recognize out progress, and to critique us when it is needed.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:1-3
We as Christ's church have a calling to be like Jesus. That is our one thing. Will you train with me? Run with me? Are you ready to put everything on the line to follow Christ?
Let this be our prayer, taken from a worship song we sing a lot:
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Just a little glimpse of God's beauty
I'm slightly obsessed with the magnolia trees outside my window. They're so pretty!
Yay Updates! More of my Random thoughts.
Well, I've been waiting to update until I had something complete to share, but it's been three weeks now and still all I have is a lot of half-formed thoughts, so that's what you're going to get tonight.
I've been thinking a lot about pride and humility lately, which is why I posted the link to 41 evidences of pride the other day. When the topic of humility first started popping up in my book studies and conversations, I didn't think much of it, but I've slowly been realizing just how important it really is, and how much pride I struggle with in my own life. I was surprised to discover how many of my thoughts and actions are motivated by pride. I can count at least 18 different evidences on the list that I struggle with to varying degrees. Take a moment to go through the list yourself (and I'd recommend reading it twice); it can be pretty revealing about your attitudes.
The only way to break myself of these pride issues is to humble myself or be humbled, and I found that a daunting prospect at first. Being humbled is not pleasant. It entails pain, embarrassment, loss, and other things I would rather not experience. But it is necessary. Jesus calls us to be servants, and servanthood requires an attitude of humility. And not only that, but we are called to extreme servanthood. After all, if the God of the universe humbly did the job reserved for the lowest servant in the house, how can we even for an instant think that we don't need to serve those around us? (John 13:1-17)
I haven't got this all figured out, not by a long shot. It's only been a few weeks, after all! But I am trying, and will continue to try to become humble like Jesus. And if you catch me failing, please help me by pointing it out.
I have discovered one place where I am incapable of being proud, and that is in worship. Worship by definition entails placing the Lord above oneself. When we are totally focused on glorifying God, it is impossible to hold an inflated view of ourselves. Because of that, worship also reveals areas of sin in our lives....in my case, pride. But I also believe that it is through worship that I will learn humility.
I am beginning to understand that worship is not just about singing praise songs or thanking God for all the amazing things he has done. Worship is a lifestyle, an attitude. It affects how we choose to spend our time, how we make our decisions......A life of worship means that in every detail of our lives we consciously try to glorify and honor our creator............ Whenever I finally get through the books I'm reading now, I think I'm going to make my next concentrated study a study of worship........
Kindof going along with living a life that glorifies God, I've been doing some thinking about rest. How do we keep the Sabbath in today's busy world? How can we stay engaged and involved and yet still take a day of rest? I'd like to hear your thoughts, so comment! comment! comment!
And speaking of studies, The Heart of Racial Justice chapter we read for this week has me thinking about spiritual warfare. It's real, it's serious, and it's definitely happening here. I see signs of it all around me.
There are two major things that happened to me specifically that I noticed recently. The first is that I think my lack of updates is partially due to this warfare. See, although I can write for my homework without trouble, every time I sit down to blog or fill out leadership forms or do anything that has to do with where God is leading me, I get tired and my brain shuts down. It's like somebody put a big C-clamp on my head and is slowly tightening it. I feel smothered. But when I finally realized that it might just be more than simple exhaustion and gave it up in prayer to God, my mind cleared and I have been able to write. There really is a war going on here.
On the flip side, I feel I have also been protected in this war. It seems that sickness has been an ongoing problem here in Busey-Evans, based on this year and what I've heard about years past. Yet I haven't been sick yet. Not once. Not one little cold. Those of you that know me well know that I am never healthy like this; I'm always sick, and I get colds and have asthma attacks every school year (often resulting in emergency room visits). I am healthy this year to the point where my doctor actually took me OFF my asthma medication. Praise the Lord! :-)
Glad to know that my God is more powerful than my enemies!
Off of random thoughts and on to news though.......
First of all, I got the internship (Chicago Summer in the City Internship) with International Teams (an international missions organization)! I'll be working in one of the poorest neighborhoods in Chicago for six weeks this summer. Four days a week will be spent helping with a vacation Bible school program in one of the churches, and the other three I'll spend getting to know the city, the problems in the area, and the other programs that ITeams has there. I'm really really excited, because this is exactly the area I want to work in when I graduate.
Because I got the internship however, I will not be able to hold a steady job this summer, so I'm looking for babysitting gigs and any other work I can find. If you know anyone who would like to employ me from mid may to mid june and during the beginning of august, please let me know!
Also, I'm trying to build up teams to support me while I'm gone. I need both people to pray for me, the team, and the work we will be doing, and people to support me financially (The whole thing costs about $1600). If you are interested in supporting me in either capacity, let me know and I'll make sure you get a letter with more details soon.
Let's see, thats about it actually. Spring break was pretty good, although I didn't get everything done that I needed to. I did get to see some good friends however. Barak was back from Israel, and it was a lot of fun to hear some of his stories and observations from his time there. I also picked up guitar (and for once was thankful for all the music theory work I had to do as a child), and have been playing pretty much every day since then. I didn't realize I had that much free time! I guess a lot of that used to be facebook time though, so it's not really any more time than I was spending before.
It also snowed a ton the last day of break, and apparently the trees in our yard didn't like it. One lost a huge branch and a couple others split right down the middle! I found it very amusing to leave so much snow on sunday morning and three hours later open the blinds in my dorm room to find the magnolia trees in full bloom.
Dad sent me an email today. He found a verse that explains the foggy future effect of following Christ:
Proverbs 20:24
"A man's steps are directed by the Lord.
How then can anyone understand his own way?"
And one final note; my friend Stephanie gets back from Kolkata, India, in less that 2 weeks. In case you didn't catch my earlier post about it, you should go read her blog! Even if you don't know her, the stories she tells are heartwrenching, eye-opening, and well worth reading.
I've been thinking a lot about pride and humility lately, which is why I posted the link to 41 evidences of pride the other day. When the topic of humility first started popping up in my book studies and conversations, I didn't think much of it, but I've slowly been realizing just how important it really is, and how much pride I struggle with in my own life. I was surprised to discover how many of my thoughts and actions are motivated by pride. I can count at least 18 different evidences on the list that I struggle with to varying degrees. Take a moment to go through the list yourself (and I'd recommend reading it twice); it can be pretty revealing about your attitudes.
The only way to break myself of these pride issues is to humble myself or be humbled, and I found that a daunting prospect at first. Being humbled is not pleasant. It entails pain, embarrassment, loss, and other things I would rather not experience. But it is necessary. Jesus calls us to be servants, and servanthood requires an attitude of humility. And not only that, but we are called to extreme servanthood. After all, if the God of the universe humbly did the job reserved for the lowest servant in the house, how can we even for an instant think that we don't need to serve those around us? (John 13:1-17)
I haven't got this all figured out, not by a long shot. It's only been a few weeks, after all! But I am trying, and will continue to try to become humble like Jesus. And if you catch me failing, please help me by pointing it out.
I have discovered one place where I am incapable of being proud, and that is in worship. Worship by definition entails placing the Lord above oneself. When we are totally focused on glorifying God, it is impossible to hold an inflated view of ourselves. Because of that, worship also reveals areas of sin in our lives....in my case, pride. But I also believe that it is through worship that I will learn humility.
I am beginning to understand that worship is not just about singing praise songs or thanking God for all the amazing things he has done. Worship is a lifestyle, an attitude. It affects how we choose to spend our time, how we make our decisions......A life of worship means that in every detail of our lives we consciously try to glorify and honor our creator............ Whenever I finally get through the books I'm reading now, I think I'm going to make my next concentrated study a study of worship........
Kindof going along with living a life that glorifies God, I've been doing some thinking about rest. How do we keep the Sabbath in today's busy world? How can we stay engaged and involved and yet still take a day of rest? I'd like to hear your thoughts, so comment! comment! comment!
And speaking of studies, The Heart of Racial Justice chapter we read for this week has me thinking about spiritual warfare. It's real, it's serious, and it's definitely happening here. I see signs of it all around me.
There are two major things that happened to me specifically that I noticed recently. The first is that I think my lack of updates is partially due to this warfare. See, although I can write for my homework without trouble, every time I sit down to blog or fill out leadership forms or do anything that has to do with where God is leading me, I get tired and my brain shuts down. It's like somebody put a big C-clamp on my head and is slowly tightening it. I feel smothered. But when I finally realized that it might just be more than simple exhaustion and gave it up in prayer to God, my mind cleared and I have been able to write. There really is a war going on here.
On the flip side, I feel I have also been protected in this war. It seems that sickness has been an ongoing problem here in Busey-Evans, based on this year and what I've heard about years past. Yet I haven't been sick yet. Not once. Not one little cold. Those of you that know me well know that I am never healthy like this; I'm always sick, and I get colds and have asthma attacks every school year (often resulting in emergency room visits). I am healthy this year to the point where my doctor actually took me OFF my asthma medication. Praise the Lord! :-)
Glad to know that my God is more powerful than my enemies!
Off of random thoughts and on to news though.......
First of all, I got the internship (Chicago Summer in the City Internship) with International Teams (an international missions organization)! I'll be working in one of the poorest neighborhoods in Chicago for six weeks this summer. Four days a week will be spent helping with a vacation Bible school program in one of the churches, and the other three I'll spend getting to know the city, the problems in the area, and the other programs that ITeams has there. I'm really really excited, because this is exactly the area I want to work in when I graduate.
Because I got the internship however, I will not be able to hold a steady job this summer, so I'm looking for babysitting gigs and any other work I can find. If you know anyone who would like to employ me from mid may to mid june and during the beginning of august, please let me know!
Also, I'm trying to build up teams to support me while I'm gone. I need both people to pray for me, the team, and the work we will be doing, and people to support me financially (The whole thing costs about $1600). If you are interested in supporting me in either capacity, let me know and I'll make sure you get a letter with more details soon.
Let's see, thats about it actually. Spring break was pretty good, although I didn't get everything done that I needed to. I did get to see some good friends however. Barak was back from Israel, and it was a lot of fun to hear some of his stories and observations from his time there. I also picked up guitar (and for once was thankful for all the music theory work I had to do as a child), and have been playing pretty much every day since then. I didn't realize I had that much free time! I guess a lot of that used to be facebook time though, so it's not really any more time than I was spending before.
It also snowed a ton the last day of break, and apparently the trees in our yard didn't like it. One lost a huge branch and a couple others split right down the middle! I found it very amusing to leave so much snow on sunday morning and three hours later open the blinds in my dorm room to find the magnolia trees in full bloom.
Dad sent me an email today. He found a verse that explains the foggy future effect of following Christ:
Proverbs 20:24
"A man's steps are directed by the Lord.
How then can anyone understand his own way?"
And one final note; my friend Stephanie gets back from Kolkata, India, in less that 2 weeks. In case you didn't catch my earlier post about it, you should go read her blog! Even if you don't know her, the stories she tells are heartwrenching, eye-opening, and well worth reading.
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