So, God has been doing some crazy-wonderful things in my life lately, and I feel the need to share. So here is a condensed version of the story up till now. For those of you that were following my notes on facebook, this should look awfully familiar.
I wrote this back in November:
Hi, I'm Bethany, and I haven't a clue what to do with my life.
Actually, that's a total lie. I do know what I want to do with my life; I'm just not sure what I should major in to do it.
Don't get me wrong, I love theatre. But I also want to have a life, and that's just not happening. I want to be able to go to InterVarsity, see my friends, sing on the worship team, go to small group, maybe make it to juggling club once in a while. I want to have a chance to swim, and to do some volunteer work. But, I'm in theatre, so I spend nine hours a week in class to earn one credit hour towards my degree......and then go to rehearsal of course.....
I also was making a list the other day of all the electives I want to take.......none of them are in theatre, but they pretty much all deal with people in one way or another. Take a look:
spanish, intro to Islam, geography of international conflicts, geography of developing countries, intro to energy sources, contemporary labor problems, intro to epidemiology, population issues, intro to social work, comparative family organization, contemporary women's issues, Intro to family studies, U.S. racial and ethnic politics, world religions, drug use and abuse, disability in American society, gender race class and work, Muslims in America, race and cultural diversity, comparative politics in developing nations
They're all across the board in the social sciences, but they all have one thing in common for me; somehow or another, they all tie into being able to help people
See, that's all I really want to do. Just help people that no one else cares about. When I was little, Mother Teresa was my hero. Come to think of it, she still is. Not because she did something great, but because she saw the need right where she was and gave her all to meet it.
Aren't we as Christians called to be merciful, compassionate? Aren't we supposed to feed the hungry and take care of the poor among us? And how miserably we have failed! Do you even know who the poor in our community are? How about the poor in our churches? Do I know who is hurting, who needs encouragement, who needs help with something?
Jesus said that the greatest commandment is to love the Lord, but the second is to love our neighbor. I don't know my neighbors, and I'm separated from them only by a single wall. I'm failing miserably at this loving thing.
But I don't want to!
For now, however, I'm sticking with theatre because I don't know what else to do. And maybe God will keep me here and use the skills I'm learning in the future. But if anyone can think of a major that seems to fit what I want to do, let me know. :-)
I wrote these next two last week:
God is Amazing (otherwise known as look what God is doing!)
The short version is that God is completely turning my life upside down. And its awesome.
The long version is this:
Most of you know that I started here at UIUC as a theatre major. I had it all planned out; I was going to get my degree in stage management, maybe live and work the theatre district in London for a couple years, and then I wanted to work for Cirque du Soleil. God had a different plan for me though.
Starting last June, he began to instill a passion in me for helping those in need around me. I saw that in many ways the church is doing more to help those in need in other countries than it is doing to help those in our our communities, and that really saddened me. And then he began to call me to do something about it. I don't know if you've ever experienced it, but God is very very persistent when he wants you to hear something (if it were my mom doing it, I might be tempted to call it nagging). In nearly every book or news article I read, every verse I was given, every song, every sermon, they all were centered around doing God's will, being the authentic church, and serving those around us.
But then school started, and I could have easily gotten caught up in college and forgotten about it. Except that the very first night here I ran into Jenn, who I went to high school with. I didn't even know she went here, and as it turned out, we live in the same dorm. Through her i got hooked into Intervarsity and a church. And do you know what the first few sermons I heard were on? That's right, doing God's will, being the authentic church, and serving those around me.
At this point I started really listening and here's where it led:
1) Last December during finals week, I informed the theatre department that I would be changing majors.
2)I talked to an advisor at the division of general studies, and determined that I would be switching to Social Work. There's a catch however. We don't actually have an undergrad social work program. However, there is one pending provost approval that they hope to have up and running by this fall. Great! But that still leaves everything up in the air, because it could get denied. Not to mention the fact that I doubt it will be an accredited program the first few years. So I don't know if I'll be staying or going or whatnot.... God hasn't told me yet.
3) I've really begun to notice God's provision in my life lately. For one thing, my advisor told me that I would need to take Psych Stats this semester as a prerequisite to switching into social work. Thing is, when I went back to add it into my schedule, the class was full. Since I knew this is where God was leading me, I went ahead and bought the textbook anyway, and prayed that a space would open up. I had basically given up hope, but the night before classes started I checked one more time, and there was a space! Praise God!
For another, I have a new roommate. I liked my old roommate (despite not seeing a whole lot of her), so I wasn't very happy about the idea at first. I needn't have worried. We get along great, and she's even got me singing again :-) (Thanks Katie!)
4) I started looking for internships for the summer, and found one that is perfect, working down in the city with exactly the people I want to work with after I graduate (poor, homeless, marginalized people, anyone in need of help that they aren't getting). Even cooler, I had already decided to apply when I realized that it was the same one my good friend had applied for. So Sam and I might be spending the summer together!
On another note with that, there have been some major technical difficulties with getting the application turned in, and I can't get ahold of people who can help (I've been trying for over a week now, and I'm not getting any responses to my messages, etc.) So I could use some prayer on this.
Thats most of what's going on. It's hard to remember everything when I'm writing. Get me talking to you about it and more will just come spilling out though :-)
My dad and I were talking the other day and he quoted something that made me think. He said that a lot of people think that the more closely you follow God, the clearer your future gets, but in reality, the more closely you follow God, the thicker the fog gets.
I have absolutely no idea where I will be in a couple weeks, let alone this summer an beyond. I could be filling out college applications (ugh), on a spring break missions trip, doing internships, etc. The thing is though, I'm not worried at all. I gave up control of all of this to God, and now I just get to sit back (figuratively, cause it's actually a lot of work) and enjoy the ride.
And I'm having so much fun! (you should try it)
Barely got my note posted and already an update
Well, apparently there will not be an undergrad social work program here until my junior year.
This is problematic for a number of reasons:
1) They still aren't 100% sure that they will have the program in 2010
2) The program will for sure not be accredited right away
3)You have to declare a major by the time you have Junior standing. At the end of this semester I will have 53 credits, and I believe that Junior standing is 60. This could cause problems with transferring two semesters from now when I've earned another 32 credits.
So, there is a good chance that I will have to change schools. But I love it here and don't want to leave, and the idea of doing college applications all over again kinda just makes me want to break down and cry.
I guess what I really wanted to say is, please keep me in your prayers over the next few weeks. I'm going to need them!
On a happier note, I submitted my application today :-)
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